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The Deviant's Dictionary by ~leftomaniac:iconleftomaniac:





$- A title that commands respect, such as "Sir," "Duke," or "Bass Master." Also: ', @, ^, #, %, and +

Adoptee- A subspecies of deviant, which attach themselves to larger predators, much like remoras or temporary tattoos.

Anime- One of the most thriving, fastest-growing religions in the world today.

Avatar- The tiny, tiny window in the computer screen, though which a deviant may look at the outside world.

Community- A safe haven where like minds can gather, free from the prying and oppressive eyes of the outside world, to talk about how sexy Jack Sparrow is.

Constructive criticism- Any comment that does not involve the words "dood," "teh," "poop" or "gay." Any replies made to constructive criticism will contain all four.

Dark Art- Pictures of various pale women with too much eye makeup. May or may not be bleeding from somewhere.

Deviant- Once thought to exist only in myth, the wild deviant has recently been found thriving in various parts of the world, wherever internet connections can be found. Recognizable by its ink-stained fingers and pale, sun starved skin, it subsists on a strict diet of coffee, ramen, bagels and pocky. Although useless for domestication, (when not drawing, photographing or writing they go into periods of deep hibernation,) they can easily be tamed with prints and false promises of oral sex.

Deviations- The offspring of deviants. See scourge upon humanity.

Emoticon- A reasonable substitute for feeling.

Fanart- A one-way ticket to commentsville, with regular stops at favland. See popularity.

Fav- A sexual act, derived from the word "fuck." Different from it's predecessor in that the role of the powerful lies in the person who seduces and then "gets faved," as opposed to the one who "favs." Like fucking, faving is most commonly associated with the charming and the beautiful, or at least something with big tits on it.

Flame- See constructive criticism. See also what I'm going to receive for writing this.

Forum- A place deviants go to complain how much they hate the forum.

Full view- A way to see each piece as the artist truly intended it- blown up to the point where the character's left nostril fills the entire screen.

Furries- Human/animal hybrids, a result of bored mad scientists running around DeviantART.

Journal- A tiny box where millions of avatars are stored.

Poem- A string of words with irregular spacing. By nature, the words "blood," "rose," "drug," "blade," "dream," "soul," "ice," "rain" and "crimson tears" must be in every poem.

Popularity- A quality that each deviant despises in everyone but themselves.

Prose- A poem with the line breaks removed.

Scourge Upon Humanity- An artist or writer with no sense of humor.

Screenshot- A way of capturing that one, special moment before the dragon bites your laptop in two.

Whore- One who admits to wanting attention.

WTF- After 'round the clock research, our team of archeologists and linguists have determined this symbol is an abbreviation for "waffles talk funny." We cannot be wrong.

Yaoi- A sexual pairing that involves two men having a relationship while a teenaged girl watches.
©2004-2009 ~leftomaniac
:iconleftomaniac:

Author's Comments

Begun in 1881, Doubleday published the Deviant's Dictionary as The Cynic's Word Book in 1906, to prevent bibliophobes from being offended by the word "dictionary." Rescued from the annals of history, it is now reproduced in full here. As this was written at the turn of the century, many of the ideas may be offensive to modern, enlightened readers. Please bear in mind this is a work of humor, and is not to be taken seriously. Thank you.

Daily Deviation

Given 2007-10-25

Daily Deviation - An act in which a deviation is soaked in gasoline and put three feet away from a flame war. See Also: News Heart Wars, and many more in The Deviant's Dictionary by ~leftomaniac (Suggested by ~kabocha and Featured by `GunShyMartyr)

Comments


love 15 15 joy 16 16 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 1 1 neutral 0 0
:iconfirespook:
waffles talk funny... heh
:iconxabie:
XD Your sense of humour is lovely. How much are you willing to sell it for?

--
Write prose? ~simplyprose
:iconkerbi:
:lmao: excellent :P

--
FICTION BLOG:
follows a girl through her first year of college
[link]
:iconorion-mk3:
I can see this attaining exactly that which you satirize. Make the cross-references real, expand it, and get rid of the reamining serious definitions in favor or more satire!
:iconleftomaniac:
Hmm... which ones do you consider serious?

--
"God keeps stealing my friends." -Ken
:icondemonlight:
Constructive criticism- Any comment that does not involve the words "dood," "teh," "poop" or "gay." Any replies made to constructive criticism will contain all four.
- Actually, I can disprove this. Let me get the link... Ah, here we go: [link]

However, it's a rather lovely little quip.

Anyway - this is great. It just is... no constructive critique here. Just the right level of tongue in-cheek humour and observation - t'is charming. Add it to your sig and declare yourself a whore.

--
A storm is rising.
:iconleftomaniac:
Heheh. Advice from the experienced, I see. ^_^ Thank you.

--
"God keeps stealing my friends." -Ken
:icondiamondie:
I was once going to make a piece similar to this, but never bothered to finish it. I think your version is probably a lot funnier than the one I was going to make, thumbs up for that. You could use bold to separate the words from their descriptions.

My favorite ones were probably "community", "journal" and "dark art", though it's really hard to pick favorites among the descriptions. The "adoptee" one I don't quite understand and I think the "anime" and "furries" ones could be better, so many different possibilities for those. You also forgot that a poem must contain the words "crimson tears"! Though maybe they even deserve their own entry.

I find it quite ironic that before this comment, you had the same number of comments and favorites (7).
:iconleftomaniac:
Thank you! I took your suggestions, though I kept "anime" the same because... well, I guess I'm just attached to it, heh.

--
"God keeps stealing my friends." -Ken
:icondestro7000:
Cool piece, your sarcasm made me laugh. :D the good kind!

--
there once was a beast, yes a fearsome brute,
who lived in a swamp made entirely of fruit...
...it seems he was a truly healthy hog,
eating only fruit and the occasional dog.

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November 20, 2004
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